Random Questions

OK, so this is sad, but I had way too much spare time on my hands today (which I haven’t in a long time) and was playing around with the ‘random questions’ generated at the blogspot’s profile. OK, so it’s not all funny, but I’m trying.

You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
Put my thumbs in my ears and my indexes in my nose

What spells can you cast with magic markers?
No outside-the-lines colouring books.

The hair from your last haircut ... what would it say about your new style?
That fringe will grow old just like me, and you’ll grow bored of it, then what?

If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?
Human leather shoes

How is an ankle unlike a consequence?
Like a leg is unlike an action.

Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?
I’ll throw the bow away, talk bullshit and have dreamy eyes.

Come up with some possible band names for your group that features a washboard and a Styrofoam tuba.
Damage, tuba diving.

Please come up with a more appropriate name for the ringtoe:
Toe-ring finger, in your foot.

You're in the grocery store with a broken cart. How will you ever be that hungry?
What do you mean? I am now.

What's the best time you've ever had licking stamps?
When I had a dream that ice cream was always made into stamps before being sold.

You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
Will hyponitise the goat into thinking he is a faithful, trained dog, very Lacy like. Will throw the slinky to the top, will ask the goat to ‘fetch’ then say: “Lacy, go get help”

What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
Enough to make a castle.

Describe the sound of a moist waffle falling onto a hot griddle.
OUCH! OUCH! SON OF A..!

How tall would you be if you had never cut your fingernails?
Ok, I’m 5”2 but not that desperate!

You're going to the moon! What did you forget to pack?
A rubber duck, you know, for the bathtub.

What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
That they finally made sushi outta tarantula

You have a red jar of cedar chips. Why do moths miss the forest?
Because no one makes’em like mommy.

Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?
Expandability, you’d know if you see how small I am.

Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?
What silverware?

Lionesses have no manes. How do they know when they've grown up?
When they start noticing lions didn’t put the toilet seat down

When your science teacher smashed a frozen rose with a hammer, did you warm the petals to bring them back to life?
Only if someone can prove to me that Austin Powers was real.

Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp. What does it say?
Gimme

Which is easier to make a model airplane out of and why: a banana peel or a wet sock?
A banana peel, because no one will want to step on it.

Create a tagline for a new line of plastic bedsheets.
WipeMeClean

Sponges and tongues are frequently misspelled. Is it because both are thirsty?
No, it’s because sponge bob works for a secret agency and needs disguise. Just don’t tell anyone.

Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?
Only if the turtle lets me.

Other Questions I couldn’t answer, any ideas?:
1. Foxes are clever and tigers are cunning. So, what's your cat's safety school?
2. Try making up the rules to a game where you tie knots in a yo-yo string just to see if you can get them out:
3. The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:
4. Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?
5. You've just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?
6. You moved the pot before the coffee stopped brewing. Do you smell the mountains or the burro?
7. The wicked backspin caught you off guard. How will you play it off without losing your footing?
8. What would you name your ballet inspired by the sight of children leaping through a garden sprinkler?